Grooming Lounge Blog

While Grooming Lounge is not affiliated with a particular political party, we do support the platform of “Good Grooming.” Defining this platform is the idea that when a President and Vice President look good, they feel good too, leading to a happier country, more confident constituents, better healthcare, less international strife, less partisanship, etc.

So, for the 3rd consecutive election year, our team of experts has volunteered to act as pro-bono political consultants for both parties, offering up grooming suggestions for each of the candidates. Here are those suggestions:

Mitt Romney
– Focus on His Dome-State: While its conservative nature might be a hit with key constituents, Mr. Romney’s hair is way too “helmet-like” to appeal to fringe or wavering younger demographics. A solid haircut aimed at reducing overall bulk would make him look more “main street” and “of the people.”
– Eyebrows of Mass Destruction: Our research shows that seven of the last eight elections have been won by the candidate with more well-groomed groomed eyebrows. Mr. Romney needs to do some tidying of those caterpillars to grab an edge.

Barack Obama
– His Re-Election Campaign Shouldn’t Look So Grey: The stress and strain of the job has understandably turned his hair grey – particularly the temple areas. While coloring his entire head would be a bit too noticeable and drastic, we recommend some strategic ‘grey blending’ to re-emphasize the President’s ability to handle pressure, fly below the stress and connect with younger voters.
– Don’t Tow The Party Fine Lines: Compare a current photo of the President to one from his inauguration and you’ll notice he’s added several items to his face – namely serious under-eye bags and crow’s feet. While some are clearly a result of aging, our guess is most are stress-induced and can be minimized with targeted eye creams. People want their leader to work hard, but feel uncomfortable following one who looks like he’s pulled consecutive all-nighters.

Paul Ryan
– Don’t Wear The Same Hel-Mitt: While younger and less grey, Mr. Ryan’s hair is almost identical to his running mate’s. Mixing things up a bit by avoiding the “political part” and taking some of the bulk off the top could expand the appeal of the Republican ticket.
– Stay Away From the Dark Side: He’s a real handsome guy, but there’s no denying the appearance of some tired-looking, raccoon-like eyes. He could lighten his perceived load and appear more refreshed via some targeted eye services and products.

Joe Biden
– He’s Got a Hair Don’t: Vice President Biden really has some hair challenges. He’s got way too much and fly-aways all the way around. A real hair style is needed to clean up that “rat’s nest” of sorts. A more refined coif will lead to a more “put together” and less “off-the-cuff” view of Biden and his comments.
– The Vote Is Neck & Neck: Mr. Biden needs to take a trimmer to his neckline. Voters want someone who pays attention to the details… like too much hair on the back of their necks or saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

The kind folks at Washingtonian Magazine were nice enough to ask our opinion on the follicular formations of some of DC’s biggest big shots. We obliged with our take and they printed it this month. Hooray. See a scan of the article below and you can also click here to get our tips on the best ways to maintain a beard.

Thanks to the Washington Post, which recently published my answer to their question: “What’s your plan for retirement?” Full text is below or can be seen on the Post’s site right here. Appreciate your interest, if you are indeed still reading.

Route to retirement: Concentrating on crafting my business, rather than my retirement

“Not sure if it’s a factor of the recent economy or just my myopic focus on just trying to build a best-in-class business, but few things are further off my radar than the details of retirement.

Don’t get me wrong, I have semi-regular inner dialogues questioning just how I’ll accumulate the needed funds to afford a nice lifestyle and support my family at some point in the future, but it’s such a far-off and out-of-my-comfort-zone concept that it doesn’t occupy much time.

I have such a drive to build Grooming Lounge into even more of a solid and self-sufficient business — one that readily supports my staff’s families and my family’s well-being — that it’s hard to look that far ahead. I consider myself a young guy at 41. As unstrategic as it sounds, I know that if we structure Grooming Lounge’s business the “right way” and support our people the same, when the time comes, I’ll have the resources to retire in comfort.

Of course, it’s easier to push off when taking into account that I just can’t see not working day to day with our team. I enjoy it, get great pride from it and earn a respectable living. I’d rather put my thoughts toward how to make our guests and team happy today and tomorrow and next week — that’ll ensure the business will continue to thrive and I’ll be content down the line.

If the economy were going gang busters over the past several years, perhaps I’d have a slightly different take. I strive to live well within my means and have invested excess monies regularly in the market via mutual funds (those monies still left over after re-investment in Grooming Lounge). If returns from those funds were over-flowing, would I be a little more comfortable and less focused on monthly and yearly company profits? Perhaps. Doubtful. But hard to say since it’s not a reality.

Just like many small business owners, my small business is my retirement fund. Its curve is what will determine my retirement ark.

Continuing to build it will bring value and comfort for my families — both blood and business. Since I’ve pushed all my chips to the table on our business, I’ll plow forward solidifying the business up for the foreseeable future.

We’ll see what happens from there. The growth on principle of any side investments is just gravy.“

Michael Gilman is founder and chief executive of the D.C.-based Grooming Lounge and Groominglounge.com

We know it’s hard to believe that we actually edit out some of the “punny” headlines used to market our products and services – but it’s true. As difficult as it may be to comprehend, there are some taglines that “just don’t do it” for our team and get dropped in the virtual recycle bin, never again able to bring a sarcastic or uncomfortable smile to anyone’s face. Several such headlines were just laid to rest as we launch a travel size version of Grooming Lounge The Best Shampoo. It’s the same awesome shampoo as our big size (11.6 oz) and boasts the same great scent, minty-ness, tingle and cleansing properties, but has infinitely more options for playing off the word “little” and the “poo” in Shampoo. Here are a few headers that didn’t make it:

- Everyone Needs A Little Poo
- Honey I Shrunk The Shampoo
- Knock, Knock… Poos There
- Grab Some Poo Please
- Poo For One
- May Cleaner Heads Prevail
- Thinner Mint
- Mint Romney
- Blue Brothers
- Poo Can It Be Now?
- We Just Made A Small Poo

Can Poo top any of those?